The Effects of Bullying...

Today was day # 5 of school, my first email to the asst. principal (AP), and my son's first absence from school. He called me at 11:00 to be picked up due to his terrible back ache. (See number 2 in this previous post...) At first I was concerned that he had some bladder, kidney, boy part, I don't know what kind of injury from today's bullying event. After talking to him, I thought he was just shaken up and encouraged him to get through the day. Absences are very hard for him and he misses frequently due to various things. Therefore, I try to keep him there once he gets there. I told him to march directly across the hall to visit the AP to discuss the bullying thus far this year. He said, ok mom...and was off. At 2:00 the nurse called again. Brennan asked me to puleeeez pick him up, cuz his back, feet, ankles, etc. etc. were hurting to badly for him to finish the day. I had almost finished my work day and didn't have to be at my internship for 2 hours...so I went to pick him up. I had a 'comfort' conversation with him...letting him talk a lot...discussing what happened, reassuring him that he is fabulous and that I love him no matter what...during this conversation he said..."I love PE" followed by, "I hate PE"

The Mr and I have discussed taking him out of PE, but the socialization and physical activity is so necessary for him. After this week I am wondering if the risks outweigh the benefits. My son confirmed that he loves PE and all the activity...he loves that he feels more awake after all that movement...he loves being with regular kids...he hates bullies...he hates being hurt...he hates being humiliated...he hates being laughed at...at this point my heart breaks, I rub his soft hair, and tell him it's going to be ok. At this point, I wish I knew in my heart that it will be.

Bullying...will it ever end

I find myself a bit speechless when it comes to bullying. It frustrates me...it hurts my son...it establishes the survival of the fittest societal roles, and is just generally annoying. I must admit it has been so much better so far this year than last. However, it's still not ok.

I was given this checklist at a workshop I attended...
(There is no author to give credit to...sorry) but I found it very interesting...

What does bullying do to my health?

Bullying causes injury to health and makes you ill. How many of these symptoms do you have?

~constant high levels of stress and anxiety
~frequent illness such as viral infections especially flu and glandular fever, colds, coughs, chest, ear, nose and throat infections (stress plays havoc with your immune system)
~aches and pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause; also back pain with no obvious cause and which won't go away or respond to treatment
~headaches and migraines
~tiredness, exhaustion, constant fatigue
~sleeplessness, nightmares, waking early, waking up more tired than when you went to bed
~flashbacks and replays, obsessiveness, can't get the bullying out of your mind
~irritable bowel syndrome
~skin problems such as eczema, psoriasis, athlete's foot, ulcers, shingles, urticaria
~poor concentration
~bad or intermittently -functioning memory, forgetfulness
~sweating, trembling, shaking, palpitations, panic attacks
~tearfulness, bursting into tears regularly over trivial things
~uncharacteristic irritability and angry outbursts
~hyper vigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), being constantly on edge
~hypersensitivity, fragility, isolation, withdrawal
~reactive depression, a feeling of woebegoneness, lethargy, hopelessness, anger, futility and more
~shattered self-confidence, low self-worth, low self-esteem, loss of self-love, etc.

The ones listed in red are the effects my son regularly suffers from :( After yesterday's incident (see sidebar dated 8.26.08) he stated that every morning he's excited about school and by the time he gets home he wishes he was dead. That...is the ultimate effect of bullying.

Today...we shall have a conversation with the PE teacher.