I am sorry for the neglect...

It has been a crazy tumultuous transition point in life for me. Good thing I don't have autism or I may not be faring so well.

My boy is in the process of transitioning to High School...choosing classes, having his every 3 year Special Ed re-evaluation and also just had his 9th grade physical. Of course he had to get shots which he really doesn't appreciate and hasn't appreciated throughout his life :) When he got his shots this year, and he was balking and squirming and trying hard no to cooperate I was taken back to a time when he was much younger.

Before he went for his kindergarten physical I warned him of the upcoming shots and of course since he was excited about going to school I told him that you have to get your shots if you want to go to big boy school. And so he went. I also promised him that when he was done he could go to Kmart and pick out a toy to ease the pain. (Bribery worked well for me a few times when I had 3 young children). Anyway, Brennan got through his shots and was off to kindergarten. It took him about 2 days and one seat work assignment to realize that kindergarten was not for him. When he exceeded his frustration tolerance, which was most days, he just crumpled up the paper and threw it away. That seemed a viable solution for the boy. Anyway...the point of this story is...one day I distinctly recall driving him home from Kindergarten when he had a particularly difficult day. I remember him looking at me with those big green eyes and saying, "See Mom, I told you I shouldn't have gotten those shots."

To translate for families that don't relate to the literalism that Autism brings...

Since I told Brennan he had to have the shots if he wanted to go to school...his mind translated that to mean if he didn't get shots, he wouldn't have to go. So, he was convinced no shots...no school...all would have been well.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

The other night I asked my son if he had homework, to which he replied, nope I just have a paper for you to sign. I told him to go get it so we didn't forget about it. He brought me the bright red paper to sign which proceeded to say..."Your child ... has 1 missing homework assignment...the noun book." "Hmmm...Brennan, is there some homework you should be doing, because it says here that you have a missing noun book." "Oh yeah, that...that's in my backpack." "Is it done?" "Nope, but I'll do it right now." "Yes, my son...good idea."

The Normal Among Us

I wish I had a video camera...I wish I could capture it in my memory and keep it there forever. Last night my son started his latest playgroup to continue building his social skills. From the minute I mentioned it to him he was so excited. I had no doubt it would go well. As I sat beside him in the waiting room, the other Aspie teenagers began to come in. My boy looked at me everytime he saw a similarity. "Hey Mom! I know what they're talking about. Hey Mom, they all have their SP's with them. Hey Mom, they like Pokemon!" I was immediately pleased in the fact that my son sat in a room of 9 teenagers and looked completely and utterly normal. 8 handsome young men and 1 young lady all with nothing to lose: Talking, laughing, playing and catching up, painfully aware of how different they can be. I encouraged my son to go talk to them. "Na...I'll wait." was the reply. Finally the therapist came in and encouraged the group to introduce themselves to my son. They all stood up, shook hands, practiced making eye contact and introduced themselves. They were off for the best hour of fun I believe my son may have ever had. There were no put downs, there was no ridicule, there was no bullying...it was totally safe, totally fun, and totally wonderful. If I think about it too much, it'll probably bring me to tears. After the group I asked him if he liked it? "Liked it?!? Of course! When can I come back?" We talked about how if felt to be among a large group of kids that were just like him...to which he replied...it was scary at first because I don't like that introducing stuff, but then it was really fun. Bless his heart! I saw a lot of hope for my boy last night. I met a lot of super great kids...loving, funny, energetic, smart, unsure, determined great kids...determined to be normal among us.

Organizational Challenges...

The typical Aspie has a hard time with organization. I for one do not have Asperger's and definitely have a hard time with organization...this does not bode well for my son. I truly wish I had a picture of the state of his trapper keeper yesterday. Even though most school ban trapper keepers due to their size and the fact that they don't fit well into desks (for younger children) I have found the trapper keeper to be a lifesaver for my son...except for this time. I pulled up the missing assignment log yesterday on the computer (lets just note that I love that this is available) -- now mind you, my son consistently tells me his homework is done---NOT! Anyway, yesterday I took a gander into his tk where I found, um let me see, it had to have been about 40 incomplete assignments. Now what amazes me here is that he has A's and B's in all of his classes except one...so...if these assignments were all done...would he then have straight A's? I think so! Anyway...last night...we sat and completed about half of the work. The quarter ends tomorrow and so tonight...on my birthday :) we will sit and complete the rest of his missing work.

The frustrating part of this is the fact that all of his teachers have been notified to please contact me the second he gets behind (since this is a pretty well established pattern for him...) and sadly...no one contacted me. So...he's on his way to being caught up. The next challenge was explaining to his father the challenges that Aspie's have with organization and yelling doesn't really solve the whole Autism thing ;)

Brennan starts his adolescent social skills group next week...I am looking forward to a few more advances for him in that area...but that's a story for another day...

Until next time...

The regular cycle...

Although my sonshine overall is doing amazingly well in school this year...he is beginning to 'cycle'. What that means is the novelty of school has worn off and the missing assignments have begun. So have his bestworst attempts at lying. Aspie's don't lie well, if at all.

It all started when he told me that he hates his resource teacher, which translates into...she keeps after me to do that darn work and won't let me get away with not doing it... Being the somewhat 'know my son pretty well mama' I said to him..."Sounds like your teacher is holding you accountable...that's when you usually start disliking them." No, that's not it...he assured me...she's just mean and I don't like her! So I treked my way to parent teacher conferences and stopped in to see the mean mean resource teacher. I began, "My son tells me he dislikes you...which translates to me that you are holding him accountable and making him do his work...is that the case?" "Why yes it is...yes it is actually." AHA!! Just as I suspected...(add a little Get Smart music here for atmosphere)

I headed home to assure my son that this teacher along with his mama have his best interests at heart and he really needs to suck it up and get his work done. He was less than pleased but accepting. Can't ask for more than that...

Ohhhhhhh the negativity!

Sunday was one of those days...I hate this, I hate that, I hate you, are we done yet? are we there yet? are we home yet?

Aspie's can be notoriously negative. On Sunday my sonshine took the main prize. I did manage to get through it by finally saying...if I hear I hate....one more time you will spend next weekend at home. Nuf said... no more I hates. Except for swimming. He still hates that.

Dirty Bananas

My husband has decided to be the monitor of all things food lately. Yesterday he said to our son, "Hey, why don't you eat a banana...they're starting to turn." To which my son replied, "No thanks Dad, I don't like dirty bananas." (Referencins of course the brown spots :) Gotta love it!